A heart-to-heart conversation with a friend I trusted most yesterday had helped me to see few things. Things that I know by heart but never accept it because I am too afraid to understand it. A friend said to me that maybe things are rough now because ALLAH SWT is trying to show me that he is the wrong one for me. Although as heart breaking as it sounds, maybe it is true. Maybe ALLAH SWT is trying to show to me that him who I had always made the priority in my life is not the one He had paired for me and ALLAH SWT wanted to teach and show me that by giving me this test so that one day when I meet the right one, I wont let any man become a priority except for HIM the ALMIGHTY whom I should love with all my heart. What ALLAH SWT trying to teach me now maybe to love but to love in the path of Islam. I had made a mistake because I had loved you my all when I am never sure if you really are the one for me. I had forgotten that JODOH is in ALLAH's hand and I let myself dwell in your love and forgotten that it is wrong to love a man that I dont know for sure if he is the one. Love comes from ALLAH SWT and it will too return back to ALLAH SWT when He demands it no matter when we are ready or not ready. And maybe now, ALLAH SWT had demand that love back and test me with this. 

" Setiap manusia telah ditetapkan jodohnya, jalan cerita hidupnya, ajal dan mautnya sejak berumur 4 bulan di dalam kandungan ibu" 

The friend also said to me that whenever ALLAH SWT uji kita, ALLAH SWT actually wants to naikkan darjat kita in His eyes. He tests us all so that he can know how much we can stand His test and how strong we as His followers lies our faith in Him like we should. This friend also said that DIAMONDS ARE MADE UNDER PRESSURE. A phrase that really had touch my heart. He said that if I wants to be the diamond that ALLAH SWT Himself moulded me into, learn my best from what ALLAH SWT trying to teach me now and be proud one day for becoming that diamond. Diamond till this day are the strongest, prettiest and toughest stone and I too wants to be that. I want to be the strongest, prettiest and toughest ummah in ALLAH's eye. Everything that I do now, it has to be for ALLAH SWT and not any man because he, the Mr. Right is no where to be found yet maybe because it is not the time yet. Greatest lover too once said that true love will happens at the right time and at the right cause. So you my Mr. Right whom ALLAH SWT had chosen as the best for me, take your time love cause I will be right here waiting for you. If ALLAH SWT had fated that we will be together, then one day we will! I am sorry because I had given my greatest love to a man whom I thought is the one for me and had forgotten about you. But I will promise you that I will love you greater one day with the help from ALLAH SWT and let him be our guidance.  :)

The last thing that the friend taught me is that if you sayang cannot see the importance of being responsible for the things we had done, then there is nothing that I can do but to always pray to ALLAH SWT the ALMIGHTY to open your heart and to accept the responsibility and also to pray to ALLAH SWT for me to be strong in always reminding you of our responsibility. Yes, maybe it is not as big as it is but it is still a wrong thing in Islam. I agree that there is always taubat and taubat is always accepted by ALLAH but learn this love that there are 4 things to be fulfilled for the taubat to be accepted by ALLAH which are to :


1. Menyegerakan melakukan taubat nasuha


2. Bertekad tidak akan sesekali mengulangi perbuatan itu


3. Menyesal dgn penuh sesalan dan penuh takut dengan balasan ALLAH SWT atas dosa itu


4. Menerima kesalahan yang telah dilakukan dan bertanggungjawab atas perbuatan yang telah dilakukan dan melakukan segala apa yang mampu untuk menghalalkan apa yang haram yakni jika zina yang dihampiri, maka pernikahan adalah satu-satunya jalan penyelesaian, jika fitanah yang dilemparkan memohon kemaafan kepada yang difitnah dan jika kecurian yang dilakukan, pulangkan apa yang dicuri dan memohon setulus kemaafan.




All I can do love is to hope that you'll understand all this when you are mature enough to understand. I had always respect you for all the guidance you given me in life while we are together and always respect you for how much you loved your family. And this is too for the sake of the name of the family that we have to save. I had done all I can to protect you and your family. The rest is all up to you because you are the man and the choices in life are yours to decide. Yes, love cant be forced but for the obligation to ALLAH SWT and for family, sacrifices has to be done. I had done mine for my family and for your family, as for your part love, you decide. The friend said if you are mature enough to see this, then you are perfect enough to be a husband that can leads a family. I hoped that you can be the the best Mr. Right for your Mrs. Right if you are not my Mr. Right. JODOH all lies in ALLAH SWT hand

p/s : Mr. Right, when the time comes, love me in the name of ALLAH SWT and guide me by His Quran and together let us build a family that forever will resides in Jannah. InsyaALLAH.  :)